Khaidian take on the A-Z challenge!

Metal newcomers Khaidian have taken on our A-Z challenge so that we can find out all about our new favourite band!

 A song that made you want to make music?

JoeThe Ketchup Song. Heard that and got a massive swing of confidence. If that can get made with not a hint of shame about it, guess there’s hope.
Andy – Helmet – The whole of “Betty“. Made me realise you didn’t have to be Steve Vai to pick up a guitar and write something stomping

Best rider you’ve had?

Joe – Was given an Iceland frozen pizza to cook once. Using a microwave. This was the best because of how long we imagined being the guy who thought this was a good idea.
Andy – Promoters CONSTANTLY ignore our all our “Coke & Strippers” demands, but I need a good sugary drink and some breaded chicken to perform full-tilt, so more fool them…

Craziest moment you’ve experienced in the band?

Joe – Eating human flesh is certainly up there.
Andy – Haha!!  It’s actually remarkably dull being in a band.  Although, back in my Stoopi days, we did nearly get stabbed in Bristol, mainly coz our bass player kept drunkenly wandering around calling everyone “Nearly Welsh Cunts”.  How to make friends and influence people.

Deepest lyric one of your songs features?

Andy – The whole album is a Mariana Trench of lyrical symbolism, how could I possibly single out just one?!?

Easiest song you wrote?

Joe – No such thing in Khaidian. The name/ word ‘Khaidian’ doesn’t really have a meaning, other than the one we in the band have conjured and applied. That meaning being ’employing the most complicated and difficult method. Just because’.
Andy – Probably “Evasion“.  The vocal parts just kinda fell out of my head, fully formed.  it almost wrote itself!

Favourite song in your set?

Joe – Changes with each show, but Thrive is certainly a highlight.
Andy – Again, probably Evasion.  There’s just such a bounce to it, the groove will not be denied!!

Guest you’d most like to feature on your record?

Joe – The Rock! Can you imagine how many Insta-likes and subs we’d get fam!
Andy – Oh god!! Too many.  But probably Maynard… although that would probably be counter productive, because I’d just end up fanboying myself into a substantial coma, and wouldn’t get any work done.

Hardest thing about being in a band?

Joe – Having to admit to other ‘real’ adults you’re in a band post your early twenties.
Andy – Diaries. Trying to coordinate the lives of 4 (allegedly) grown ups with grown up lives is both hard and annoying.

Interesting fact about one of your members?

Joe – That one of them is actually a laptop.
Andy – …and shatter the mystique?!

Jokes you have in the band?

Joe – “What do you call a three-legged donkey? A Wonkey” – that one joke joined us early into our career. Slipknot tried to bribe it to leave us, but the loyalty to our camp was immeasurable.
Andy – There’s a thing with Gorilla’s but I’d hate to ruin the surprise…

Key to writing a song?

Joe – Knowing the lock it needs to fit into
Andy – There has to be a hook.  Something has to leap out and crate an idea in my head, and usually, the first one is the one that we go with.  If it’s not there, you can’t force it.

Longest distance you’ve travelled to play a show?

Joe – Emotionally speaking, we’ve traversed the whole of space and time. The whole of it.
Andy – The length and breadth of the UK!!  Looking forward to getting outside it at some point.  I head Cancun is beautiful this time of year…

Most inspiring musician you’ve experienced?

Joe – Will vary for each band member, but Devin Townsend,  Tommy Emmanuel and Andy McKee.
Andy – It sounds super cheesy, but probably John.  None of this would be possible without him, so who the hell else could I pick?!

New band you’d recommend?

Joe – How new is ‘new’? Karybdis – Pteroglyph – Bloodywood
Andy – My boys in Karybdis – give ’em a listen

Opening for this band would be ideal?

Joe – Strapping Young Lad. Their one and only, very last time for realsies reunion show.
Andy – Twelve Foot Ninja – only because they’re the fucking best.

Place you’d most like to tour?

Joe – Mars. A saw a film once and they’re meant to have super VR experiences!
Andy – Canada!  It’s like breaking the US, but with nicer people and fewer guns.

Quote you’d like to pass on to our readers?

Joe – “You. Shall not. Pass” – Fuckin’ Gandalf dude!
Andy – “You can only piss with the cock you’ve got”.  Wise words for life right there

Reason for the title of your recent/forthcoming release?

Joe – It’s pretty arty and wankey innit bruv. Makes us look well deep.

Andy – Because it sounds proggy as fuck!Penumbra – “The penumbra (from the Latin paene “almost, nearly”) is the region in which only a portion of the light source is obscured by the occluding body. An observer in the penumbra experiences a partial eclipse. An alternative definition is that the penumbra is the region where some or all of the light source is obscured (i.e., the umbra is a subset of the penumbra). For example, NASA‘s Navigation and Ancillary Information Facility defines that a body in the umbra is also within the penumbra.[2]” 


See us live at?

Andy – The Underworld, supporting OTEP on 13th Feb, and at the Academy, Islington with Pist.On, 21st March!!  <—that’s an exclusive, right there!

The old days of music were better than the current, do you agree?

Joe – No. It’s all subjective and let’s not pretend all old music was great.
Andy – Doesn’t everyone, eventually??

Unusual merchandise?

Joe – We have made caster molds of our penii. Balls and all. Haven’t quite figured out our consumer base for those yet. So stay tuned!
Andy – Dude, we’re not KISS. We’ve just about got our shit together to get some t-shirts printed!

Variations you’d like to do on any of your songs?

Andy – There’s actually a hidden track on the end of the album that might answer your question…
Joe – We have toyed with acoustic versions to a few.

What do your fans mean to you?

Joe – That’ll we’ll always have someone to travel along life with. Blessed.
Andy – Help us get some, and by Jove, we’ll let you know!!  Haha – hey, anyone who digs us – THANK YOU!!!  I require constant validation, so it means worlds to me.

X-rays or any treatments needed for band related injuries?

Joe – Mental health totally counts right?
Andy – Oh god, plenty!  Slipped discs, dislocated knees, bruises, bleeding… it’s well glamorous, being in a band.

You’re late for a show, whose fault is it?

Joe – Southwestern Trains / TfL
Andy – John’s. Always.

Zoo animal that best describes the personality of your band?

Joe – Rock Hopper Penguin. So feisty, yet so adorable but will fuckin have you, and your chips
Andy – The penguins.  No one suspects the penguins…

Elizabeth Birt

January 25, 2019

Band management assistant. Goth princess and lover of all things music and sport.


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